


Credo

by snakeling



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Catholic Character, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-12 08:43:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16869784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snakeling/pseuds/snakeling
Summary: If a one night stand is the only way Sonny can have Rafael, he'll take it. But he wants so much more.





	1. In which Sonny and Rafael find out unexpected aspects of each other

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my beta, [Crazybutsound](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazybutsound) :)
> 
> This fic is finished, so I'll post a new chapter every other day.

Sonny prayed.

The beads slid between his fingers as he prayed for Nina and for Cara, and for all the children that had fallen prey to the Church.

He prayed for Father Eugene. He understood the man all too well, even if he’d decided to walk another path himself, one that hurt a lot fewer people. He hoped.

He tried to pray for Monsignor Mulregan and Bishop Catalano and even Father Akintola, but the words turned to ashes in his mouth, choking him. 

In the end, he prayed for himself, asking for strength and discernment. He bowed his head low and let the tears fall and cleanse him. He concluded his prayers with the Creed, his voice weighing every word. “We believe in one God…” At the last few lines, he paused, then continued, his voice firm and clear, “We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.”

After the last Amen, he remained kneeling for a moment, enjoying the sense of peace around and inside him.

Sonny crossed himself and stood up, his knees protesting loudly the change of position. It was getting late and the church was empty but for him and another man, kneeling on the prie dieu in front of the votive candle rack by the side chapel.

Sonny frowned in sudden realization as he recognized the man. Even from the back, it was, unmistakably, Barba. The last man Sonny expected to find in the middle of devotion in a church. He was technically a Catholic, but Sonny had thought him lapsed, and even hostile.

Sonny walked toward him, his shoes clacking against the tiles, the sound resonating inside the empty church. He’d not intended to startle Barba, but as he came closer, the man twisted around. His face smoothed up almost immediately in recognition, but not before Sonny had time to see the naked fear in his eyes. His steps faltered for a second.

“Don’t let me interrupt you,” he said, sitting down on the nearest bench.

Barba looked at him, then turned back toward the candles, his head bowing again, his hands joining in prayer once more. Now that he was closer, Sonny could see that there were three candles lit, aligned in a neat row in front of Barba.

One for Nina and one for Cara, Sonny supposed. He wondered who the third one was for.

Sonny snapped back to attention when Barba crossed himself. He stood up, silently offering a hand to the other man to help him up.

“Carisi. I thought I was alone.”

They started walking down the aisle.

“I was up in the front pews.”

Barba nodded wordlessly as he held the heavy oak door open for Sonny. On the doorsteps, Sonny took a deep breath and let it out slowly, exhaling his last fears and doubts. He laid a hand on Barba’s arm.

“Buy you a drink, Counselor?”

Barba hesitated. “If this is you offering or seeking free therapy…”

“God no!” Sonny’s outburst surprised even him. “No, that’s not why,” he continued in a calmer tone. “I mean, if you want my shoulder to cry on, of course you can have it—” The eyeroll he got at that was epic even by Barba standards, which made him grin. “Nah, just a drink. I want one, but I don’t want to drink alone.”

Apparently convinced, Barba said, “I know a place a couple of blocks from here.” He started without looking if Sonny followed, forcing him to take a few long strides to catch up.

* * *

They sat side by side at the bar, contemplating their respective drinks morosely. They had barely exchanged a few words since they’d arrived, too busy brooding.

“When I was fifteen, I fell in love with my best friend.”

Sonny almost immediately regretted speaking, especially as he’d told Barba he wasn’t seeking therapy earlier. He risked a glance at Barba. The man looked puzzled by the _non sequitur_ , but he also set his glass back down and angled his body towards Sonny, ready to listen.

Sonny returned his eyes to the beer label he was methodically shredding. “I was horrified, of course. I struggled with my feelings for the longest time, especially as I was alone. I’m not used to that.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. Not my parents, not my priest.” He scoffed. “Especially not my priest.”

“Because it’s a sin,” Barba said, flatly.

Sonny chuckled, but it was joyless. “Actually, it’s not, not until you act on it. The official position of the Catholic Church is that having homosexual feelings merely shows a… a ‘tendency toward an intrinsic moral evil’.” He mimed air quotes.

“Oh yes, that’s so much better,” Barba’s tone was vicious. He downed the rest of his scotch and signaled the barman. “Another beer?”

Sonny tilted his bottle to the light. It was not empty, but there was barely an inch left. “Yes. Please.”

“So what did you do?” Barba asked once the barman had served them.

“Oh, I ended up deciding that becoming a priest would afford me the protection of celibacy and at the same time allow me to fight my intrinsic evil.” Sonny smiled ruefully. “Bulletproof plan.”

Barba snorted.

“Yeah. I talked it over with my favorite priest then.” He remembered the compassion Father Fabrizzi had shown him, the overwhelming sense of relief as Sonny had sobbed on his shoulder.

After a moment, Barba prompted, “And?”

“He told me that the Church was made up of men, weak and fallible. That its laws were slow to change. And that Jesus’ only commandment was ‘You shall love your neighbor’ and if it meant for me to love another man, spiritually and even physically, God would understand. Then he cautioned me about promiscuity.”

“Wow.” Sonny looked over at Barba, who was looking astonished. “I wish my priest had been more like yours. He never would give me absolution, even for innocent feelings, though at least he didn’t tell my father. I was so grateful that I’d chosen to tell him under the seal of the confessional, because he had no choice but to keep it to himself. I never went back to confession, after that. I only went to Mass for my mother and my abuelita, and I stopped doing even that after I left for college.”

“I’m sorry.” Sonny wondered why he’d chosen to go back, tonight of all nights.

Barba made a dismissive movement with the hand that held his glass before bringing it to his lips.

“The rest of the squad doesn’t know.” Barba wasn’t asking.

Sonny looked at him. “About me? No. I’m not afraid, but most police officers aren’t Liv, so I hid it and now it’s become, you know…” He shrugged.

“Habit?”

“Something like that.”

Barba nodded and looked at the bottom of his glass as if it held the answers to the universe. Abruptly he said, “Have the bar results been published yet?”

Sonny was grateful for the change of subject. “Nah. Late April, normally. I’m dying, you have no idea.”

Barba laughed, not unkindly. “I do have an idea. Longest two months of my life. Though you sounded pretty confident when you told me about it.”

“I _think_ I did pretty well. But every time I remember a question, I come up with three better answers than what I gave. You passed on the first try, I suppose.”

Barba shot him an incredulous look, as if Sonny was a fool for even hinting otherwise. “Top 10th percentile.”

Sonny whistled low. “Just passing would be enough for me.” He finished his bottle and took out his wallet. “That’s it for me. I’ll see you next week, I suppose, Counselor.” He raised a hand to catch the attention of the barman, who was busy with another customer. The man smiled and whirled his finger at the two of them, asking if Sonny wanted both tabs. Sonny nodded.

While Sonny was waiting for the bill, Barba finished his glass and put on his coat. “Split a cab?”

“Are we even going in the same direction? I live in Washington Heights.” He slid his credit card to the barman.

“I’m just south of you in Hamilton Heights.”

Sonny glanced at him while he was signing the slip. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a Hamilton Heights kind of guy.”

Barba cracked up. “I fit better there than you do in Washington Heights. Are you the only white person in your building?”

Sonny opened his mouth to retort indignantly but closed it immediately, reviewing his neighbors. He laughed. “Fuck. Possibly.” He followed Barba outside.

Sonny pulled up his collar, cursing his forgetfulness and trying to remember what he’d done with the scarf Gina had given him for Christmas. Barba was standing on the sidewalk, his hands deep into his pockets, a pensive expression on his face as he looked at Sonny.

“Are you waiting for an Uber or something?”

“No.” Barba didn’t elaborate.

Sonny frowned at him and raised a hand to hail a cab.

“Carisi?”

Sonny half-turned toward him, keeping an eye on the flow of cars for a free cab.

“Just how seriously do you follow your priest’s advice on promiscuity?”

Was Barba asking…?

“Are you drunk?” Sonny asked, suspicious.

“After two scotches? No.” He paused, then added. “I’ve been wanting you when I was sober, too.”

So Barba _was_ asking.

Sonny took a deep breath. “Not that seriously,” he said, answering Barba’s earlier question.

That was, if not a lie, then a serious misrepresentation of the truth. He had only two relationships under his belt, both serious. But if a little BS could get him inside Barba’s bed…

“My place?” Sonny asked.

Barba’s smirk widened. “I thought you would never ask.” Sonny made a face at him.

Sonny finally got a taxi to stop and gave his address to the driver. They were utterly silent for the twenty minutes the trip lasted, both looking out of their respective windows. Sonny opened the door and led the way up to the sixth floor. He closed the door of his apartment behind them and took both of their coats and hung them, then he pushed Barba against the wall, slipping a leg between his and taking his lips.

When they were both hard and breathless, he pulled away a little and said, “I want you.”

Barba surged up to kiss Sonny once more. His arms left Sonny’s shoulders to shrug off his jacket. Sonny started on the buttons of his vest, opening it to access the buttons of his shirt. He loosened up the tie and pulled it away before trying to push the rest of the mess off Barba’s body. The shirt caught on Barba’s wrists, and they had to break off the kiss to take off his cufflinks.

While Barba was freeing himself from the tangle of his clothes, Sonny took care of his own. Thankfully he’d gone for simplicity over layers today. He took a second to toe off his shoes, then caught Barba by the waist, turning him and pushing him onto the bed. Sonny knelt to remove Barba’s shoes while the man looked at him with hooded eyes, supported by an elbow.

Sonny had forgotten the heady feeling of exploring another man’s body, mapping it out with fingers and mouth. He touched Barba with reverence, and all the feelings he couldn’t say aloud lest he frighten away the man.

* * *

Afterward, they were both breathless and sweaty. Sonny rolled on his side, manhandling Barba until they were spooned together. He looped his arm around Barba’s waist, anchoring him surely against his chest.

Barba let out a protesting noise. “I should…”

“Stay.”

Barba relented, sinking against Sonny. His breathing evened out, and soon Sonny followed him into sleep.

* * *

When Sonny woke up, he was alone. He patted the bed a couple of times to make sure, then reluctantly opened his eyes.

Barba was nowhere in the room. Sonny’s apartment was more of a closet, really, every angle visible from the bed. Barba’s clothes had disappeared, and Sonny’s had been picked up and laid neatly on a chair. A sparkle caught his eye and he got up to investigate.

It was one of Barba’s cufflinks.


	2. In which Rafael succumbs a second time

There was something totally undignified about having to grope for one’s clothes in the dim light of dawn and stepping out in the corridor to put them on. Especially when one was forty five and a successful lawyer to boot.

Rafael debated putting his tie back on or just rolling it into his pocket. His shirt sleeves were already a lost cause. He’d only managed to find one of his cufflinks, which meant he’d have to ask Carisi for the other one. It was unfortunate, because he’d already decided to act as if the previous night had never happened.

Maybe he could write off the cufflink as a loss, just buy another pair, but that smacked of cowardice.

Christ.

Rafael walked out of Carisi’s building, the morning cold taking him by surprise. He raised up his collar and considered his options. He could call a Uber, or, God forbid, take the subway, but he was barely a mile from home, and he could use the walk to clear his mind.

A half-hour later, he was sweaty and out of breath and no clearer on why, exactly, he’d decided that acting on his attraction for a colleague had been a good idea. He didn’t even have the excuse of alcohol.

Of course, there was Carisi’s unexpected confession.

And Carisi’s blue eyes, shining with intelligence and kindness, and his ash-blond hair, winning its battle against the gel, softening and curling, and his long fingers, wrapped around the neck of a beer bottle. Wrapped around a cock, his cock. Rafael’s breath hitched at the memory.

Maybe a cold shower was in order.

* * *

On Monday morning, Rafael sat in his office and thought about the files that were still at the precinct even though he needed them here. He thought about asking Liv to send them over to avoid the possibility of bumping into Carisi at the precinct, then realized that Liv would probably send Carisi anyway, perpetually stuck in the thankless role of “new guy” by virtue of the actual new guy outranking him.

Fuck.

* * *

Carisi was not there.

Rafael almost felt offended by the fact, now that he’d actually made the trip to the 16th Precinct, though he had enough self-awareness to realize he was being ridiculous. He collected the reports he needed, Carisi’s ready on his desk, three times as thick as the others’ and annotated with color-coded post-its, as usual. There were a few advantages in having a (quasi) lawyer on the squad, not that Rafael would ever actually tell Carisi.

Liv was looking harassed and overworked, so he didn’t linger, save for a perfunctory question about Noah’s continued well-being. He was treated to a smile and a couple of pictures, and left, feeling vaguely dissatisfied with the universe in general.

* * *

When he came back from court the day after, there was a message from Liv about a triple rape and did he have time for it or should she ask someone else?

He rolled his eyes. Thanks to Manhattan SVU, his agenda was full for the weeks to come, especially given how enthusiastic his Grand Jury had been. Which reminded him.

He called Liv.

“Ask someone else,” he said.

“Hello to you, too,” Liv said dryly. “Any recommendations?”

Rafael wedged the phone between his cheek and shoulder while he replenished the coffee maker. He thought about it. “Not Roberts. I’m going to try to dump half my workload on him first.”

“Roberts, really?”

“He has no political ambition. I can set him after a judge and an ADA and he won’t even blink. There aren’t many people I can say that about, myself included. What kind of rapes?”

To her credit, Liv didn’t ask about the political ambitions he’d all but shelved recently. “Stranger in a dark alley, raping young vulnerable women at knife point.”

“Ask Hawkins. She wouldn’t touch a he said-she said with a ten-foot pole, but stranger rapes should be right up her alley.”

“What a glowing recommendation.”

Coffee started dribbling in the pot, and Rafael barely refrained from a Hallelujah. As nonchalantly as possible, he asked, “Can you send Carisi over? I’ll need to put him on stand for Monsignor Mulregan, and I want to go over it with him.”

“Carisi is unavailable right now, sorry. When do you need him on the stand?”

Rafael pursed his lips. Carisi was making himself scarce. “Not right this minute, but probably before the end of the week.”

“He’s undercover right now. I hope he’ll be out by the end of the week but I can’t promise anything.”

How fucking inconsiderate of Carisi. And Rafael wasn’t thinking about Mulregan’s trial.

“Maybe I can convince the judge to push it back to next week, but not any longer. And I’ll still need to see him first.”

Liv sighed. “I’ll see what I can do, but I want to get this rapist off the streets.”

Rafael made the required noises while he poured himself a cup of coffee. After a few pleasantries, they hung up.

Well. If he couldn’t put his private life in order, he might as well concentrate on his job. He pulled the files he would need for his second day of court and prepared himself for a long night.

* * *

On Friday evening, there was a knock at the door. Before Rafael could say anything, Carisi entered, holding a bag that smelled of grease and spices. Rafael realized how late the hour had grown and how famished he was.

“Excellent timing.”

“I thought you might not have eaten. Persian all right?”

Rafael stood up, abandoning his work on his desk and joining Carisi at the big table where he was emptying his bag.

“Unusual choice.”

“I’ve been eating shit food since Sunday and I had a craving for fesenjaan.”

Uh. Not what he would have expected of Carisi. He told him as much.

“Please. If I had cravings for chicken Parmesan I’d make it myself using my grandmother’s recipe, instead of eating subpar restaurant versions.” Carisi’s tone was dry as the desert. “I lived next door to a Persian restaurant when I was in Brooklyn. It was kind of a revelation, in terms of cooking.”

“You cook Persian food?”

“Gimme a recipe and I cook everything you want. But I meant more in terms of spices and heat. Italian cooking is, uh…”

“Tame?”

Carisi snorted while he opened a half-dozen smaller boxes which turned out to contain a variety of starters. “I love my mom’s cooking, don’t get me wrong, but her spice rack is downright pitiful. I think she has, like, ground black pepper only.” He tore the large flat bread in two and handed half to Rafael.

Rafael frowned. Granted, he wasn’t the world’s foremost expert on Italian food, but… “What, no basil, or oregano?”

“Well yes, in the garden. But like, no curry, no red pepper, no ginger…” Carisi moved his hands emphatically. “I tried making oyster sauce chicken, once, for Sunday lunch. It went about as well as you would expect.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway. I didn’t actually come here just to feed you. You needed to see me?”

“I need to put you on stand for Monsignor Mulregan, yes. On Monday.”

Carisi was looking at him with a very flat gaze. “Uhuh. And you need to prep me for that.”

Admittedly, as excuses went it was very thin. But it had gotten him free, delicious food, and dinner with Carisi, so it had already done its work. He rolled his eyes in a show of aggravation. “You also have something of mine that I’d like to get back.”

Carisi’s smirk widened, and Rafael glared at him, to no discernible change. It used to work better.

“I’m afraid I don’t have it on me,” Carisi said, almost demure, leaning toward Rafael. “Maybe you should come with me tonight so I can give it back to you.” He was watching Rafael under his lowered eyelashes, and his air of pretend innocence shouldn’t have looked as hot as it did.

Rafael hesitated. He could blame the once on alcohol and a particularly trying case, but twice was making a habit out of it, and would make any further refusals that much harder.

When Rafael didn’t answer immediately, an awkward silence settled between them and Carisi’s expression shifted to embarrassed, until he sat back up, and said, “Sorry. I can bring it back to you tomorrow, or Monday as you prefer.” His tone was a little stiff and a little hurt.

The smart thing, the _professional_ thing to do would have been to acquiesce and ignore Carisi’s earlier invitation.

Rafael looked into Carisi’s eyes. “I’m afraid I need it as soon as possible. I’ll go with you.” Sometimes, Rafael despaired, his brain forgot to check his mouth and it landed him in hot water. At least Carisi was unlikely to sock him one.

And indeed, the effect of his words was extraordinary. Carisi’s smile widened, his eyes crinkled, and his whole face was illuminated with joy.

Feeling unable to deal with Carisi’s feelings, whatever they were, Rafael asked, “You were undercover. Did you get your rapist?”

If anything, Carisi’s smile increased. “Two for the price of one, actually. One was a roommate of mine, and the other, who escalated to murder, was actually the defense attorney of two others of my roommates.”

That made no sense. “What do you mean by roommate? What were you doing undercover, exactly?”

“Oh right, you wouldn’t know. The Lieu told me you’re not prosecuting this one.” Carisi piled up the empty starter dishes and opened the two bigger boxes that Rafael assumed contained the entrees. “I bought us both fesenjaan, I hope that’s all right.”

“Yes, yes. What about the roommates?”

“There were two rapes in Inwood in the last few weeks, near a shelter that accepts sex offenders, so on Sunday I volunteered to go undercover and see if I could find out if the rapist was living there. Then on Monday, there was a third rape with a similar but slightly different MO. I had to attend a group therapy as part of my ‘rehab’, and the group therapist was raped and killed on Wednesday.”

Rafael was a little horrified. It was hardly Carisi’s first stint undercover, but they usually didn’t last long, and he had his team right outside the door. To live for several days among rapists and potential murderers was another matter entirely.

“So?” he prompted, morbidly wanting to know the rest.

“Well, I was feeling one of my roommates for the rapes, but the evidence was starting to get overwhelming against another one I’d been friendly with. And you know, I think I have good instincts and I just couldn’t believe it. I mean if there was a poster boy for rehabilitation, Caskey was it. He’d given me a real hard time in therapy, about, y’know, being in denial, and then two hours later, he was defending me against a bunch of vigilantes with baseball bats—”

“What?” Someone had hurt Carisi?

“The third vic’s father and brothers. I’m all right, they didn’t hurt me. Anyway, we realized that there were two rapists, so we arrested Loomis for one group of rapes. For the others, the evidence against Caskey is circumstantial, but pretty damning, so we arrested him, and then one of the vics recognized the voice of his lawyer. In the end, we caught him trying to plant the evidence at the house of his client’s wife.”

“Loomis is the one you were ‘feeling’?”

“Yeah.”

“So two for two. Your instincts _are_ good, Detective.”

Fascinated, Rafael watched as a blush bloomed on Carisi’s face, starting from the cheeks and spreading to the ears and neck. He wondered how far down it reached.

“Yeah, anyway.” Carisi sounded slightly breathless. “Before Caskey’s lawyer killed his therapist, they were trying to petition to get his sex offender registration reduced, so that he could live with his wife — she’s too close to a school, y’see. They’d asked me for a character witness.”

“Wait, you as in your undercover sex offender persona?”

Carisi made a skeptical face. “Yes, I know, that’s what I said, too. But Robyn, the therapist, thought it was worth a shot.”

“Knowing the Board of Examiners of Sex Offenders, she was very optimistic.”

Carisi frowned. “Do you think they would be more receptive if I were to write it as a NYPD Detective?”

How very _Carisi_ of him. “Your word is worth more, no question. As to whether that would make a difference… Who knows? Miracles happen. Are you done?” He pointed to Carisi’s food box.

They made short work of clearing up the table, then Rafael closed up shop for the day, putting his files away, while Carisi set up the coffeemaker for the morning, having learned his preferences from his time shadowing Rafael.

* * *

There was none of the urgency of the time before, so Rafael had a look around while Carisi retrieved his errant cufflink. The apartment was tiny, made even tinier by the shelves crammed with books, covering an entire wall. Rafael recognized a few law textbooks, but there were also novels, a surprising number of philosophy classics and even a couple of medicine textbooks.

Distracted, Rafael was startled when Carisi touched his shoulder, jerking away almost violently.

“Hey, you all right?” Carisi’s face expressed nothing but concern.

Not really, no. His anxiety was through the roof, thanks to half a dozen hang-up calls this week, but he wasn’t about to tell Carisi about them. To distract him, Rafael rolled Carisi’s tie around his fist, reeling him in and kissing him. Rafael heard a clink, presumably the cufflink falling to the floor again.

A few seconds later, he had forgotten all about the cufflink, intent only on the man against him.


	3. In which Sonny comes out to his Dad

Amazingly, Barba was still there when Sonny woke up early on Saturday. In the grey light of the morning, Sonny watched him sleep, marveling anew at his presence in his bed.

After a few minutes, Sonny woke him with a kiss for a round of unhurried, tender sex, taking advantage of Barba’s pre-caffeinated state. Barba was unguarded enough that he followed Sonny’s lead until completion.

Later, after a short nap and a hearty breakfast, Barba made his escape. His suit was wrinkled and he had a spectacular case of bed head, but Sonny heroically refrained from commenting on either.

* * *

Barba didn’t give any sign of life for the next few days, but Sonny hadn’t really expected him to. They’d have to see each other sooner or later at work, and Sonny could be patient.

He was busy anyway. He spent his Sunday alternately playing with and photographing his baby niece, delighting in calling her name and catching her smile on camera when she turned to him.

“When are you going to find yourself a nice girl and get some babies of your own, Sonny?” his mother asked.

“Hum.” It was a little sad, to be a man of thirty-six and feeling unable to come out to one’s parents. With his eyes, he begged Bella, the only one in his confidence, to come to his help.

Bless her, she did. There was a reason she was his favorite sister.

“You can’t blame him for taking the time to do it right, Mom. Nothing but the best for Sonny.”

He took back the bit about Bella being his favorite.

“I suppose.” Their mother sounded openly skeptical. “At your age, your father already had three kids, you know.”

Boy, did he know. It was the third time she’d mentioned it since his birthday the month before.

“It’s kind of hard to find the time, Mom.”

“Well, now that you’re done with school, you should have a lot more free time. You should go out more. Maybe your church in Manhattan has events where you could meet a good Catholic girl.”

Sonny wondered whether his mother realized that a “good Catholic girl” in Washington Heights most likely meant a Latina. What would she find most acceptable, a Protestant white girl or a Catholic girl of color?

He put the question to Bella later, when he was driving her back home, Emilia sleeping peacefully in the back.

“I don’t know why you ask. It’s not as if you’re likely to bring back a girl anyway. Have you thought about telling them?”

“Yeah, of course I have.” He looked at her briefly. “Maybe I should tell Dad first. I don’t know. Maybe I should elope with my boyfriend, adopt a bunch of kids and present them with the _fait accompli_.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t recommend that. Talk to Dad, seriously.” After a moment, she asked, “You have a boyfriend?”

Sonny turned on his blinker and merged in the right lane. “Not in so many words.” He added, “It’s complicated.”

“I’m not a Facebook status. Uncomplicate it.”

“What you are is nosy.” He pretended to concentrate on the traffic, looking right ahead and avoiding Bella’s eyes. “I’ve had a crush on a guy since forever, and last week I brought him home and we had a one-night stand, except that he came home with me on Friday too.”

Bella remained silent for a few long minutes. “Your crush…” Her voice trailed off.

“Yeah?” Sonny prompted when she didn’t seem inclined to continue.

“Is it Mr Barba?”

“Barba? What makes you think that?” He sounded pretty unconvincing to his own ears; he was sure Bella wouldn’t be fooled by his tone.

Indeed, she side-eyed him rather severely.

He caved in. “Yeah, it’s Barba.”

“I did think there was something there last year, but when nothing happened… Well, I guess you’re just slow.”

“Something? Am I that obvious?”

Bella laughed. “You’re not exactly subtle, but I meant more… He looked at you constantly when he thought you wouldn’t notice.”

He nearly crashed in the car in front of them. “Really?”

“That’s not just a crush, Sonny.”

“I know,” he said morosely.

A car left just in front of them and he hurried to park before somebody else could snatch the spot.

While Bella collected the bags, he unstrapped Emilia, who was protesting the interruption of her nap with great vigor. They were met at the door by Tommy.

“I thought I’d heard my daughter’s dulcet tones. Hey Sonny, how are you? Did you have fun?”

“Tommy, man. Yeah, we had fun, didn’t we?” Sonny tickled Emilia’s belly. She couldn’t have felt it over her puffy jacket, but she obliged him anyway with a piercing laugh that left them all wincing.

“All right, let’s go inside, boys. Sonny, are you staying for dinner?”

“Not if you’re cooking.”

Bella balled her fist and drove it, hard, into Sonny’s shoulder. He’d been expecting it and had braced himself in consequence, but he still protested, laughing.

“Hey, careful while I’m carrying your pride and joy!”

“Just for that, you’re cooking.”

* * *

Monday was a slow day. Technically, he wasn’t working, but he didn’t want to miss watching both Loomis and Zimmerman being arraigned. While they were waiting for the judge to arrive, Sonny shared the best pictures of Emilia with Liv.

“Those are beautiful, Carisi. Professional. You have a good eye.”

Sonny felt himself blush. Maybe at some point he’d learn to take a compliment. “Thanks, Lieu. I’m thinking of printing and framing a couple for Bella and Tommy and for my parents. Hey!” He looked at Liv, smiling. “Do you want me to take pictures of Noah?”

She hesitated. “I don’t want to bother you.”

“If it bothered me, I wouldn’t have offered,” he pointed. “Rollins, do you want me to take pictures of you and Jesse?” he called out as she slid onto the bench. 

Amanda blinked at his greeting. “I have, like, hundreds on my phone.”

Sonny made a face. “No, with a real camera.”

Amanda looked at Liv for help. “What brought that on?”

A grinning Liv turned Sonny’s iPad towards Amanda. “Carisi is starting a new career as a baby photographer.”

“Oooh.” Amanda grabbed the tablet. “Is this your niece? She’s gorgeous!”

“Yes, she is, isn’t she?” He beamed at Amanda as if he’d made Emilia himself. “So?” He turned his head from one to the other. “Photoshoot? The light in the late morning is rather good provided we do it soon enough. Tomorrow?”

Amanda still looked skeptical, but Liv was enthusiastic. They set up a time and place just as the judge entered the room.

* * *

Their photoshoot was cut short by a case, and Sonny spent the next few days beating the pavement, listening to young models telling the same story over and over again. He felt dirty by association, taking refuge in the evening Masses of the Holy Week.

He didn’t even have the consolation of seeing Barba. The man only made brief apparitions in the precinct, generally when Sonny wasn’t there.

By the time the weekend arrived, Sonny was feeling out of sorts with humanity in general. He woke up early and set out on the two-hour trek that was going from Washington Heights to the South Shore using public transport.

He arrived early and chose to set up shop at the Dunkin Donuts round the corner from the church. It was busy, but he found an empty chair, even though the table was occupied. The young woman graciously agreed to let him sit, but she eyed him warily until she realized he made no effort to accost her.

He texted his parents to let them know he was there. A reply from his father a couple of minutes later told him of the imminent arrival of a large part of the Carisi clan, including half a dozen kids aged seven months to twelve years.

Once sat in the church, they occupied an entire pew, each kid separated from the others by at least an adult to keep fidgeting and fights down. Sonny had commandeered the baby, the son of one of his first cousins. He was sleeping peacefully, his little nose tucked into the crook of Sonny’s neck. Already a veteran of Sunday Masses, Baby Michael slept through the hymns and the readings, only waking up to express his disagreement in the middle of the homily.

Sonny addressed an apologetic smile to the priest and took his screaming burden outside. Michael calmed down almost immediately, but Sonny remained on the porch for a few minutes more, relishing the quiet.

When Michael had fallen asleep once more, Sonny went back inside. He had to relinquish the baby to his mother and felt bereft until Michael’s four-year-old sister snuggled against him.

After the end of Mass, as Sonny stood up to leave, Naomi tugged him by the sleeve.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

She clambered on the seat to reach his ear and cupped her hand around it.

“Can we go to the park, please, Sonny?” The volume of her voice utterly defeated her efforts at secrecy.

He grinned. “Aren’t you hungry? We’re going for lunch first. Tell you what, if your parents allow, I’ll take you to the park after.”

She mulled his answer for a few seconds, a frown deep on her face. “Okay,” she finally said.

She followed him to his parents’ car, refusing to go with her parents. As they were all going to the same place, her mother waved her off with a laugh.

* * *

“All right, who wants to go to the park with me?”

Sonny felt stuffed and not at all like taking a bunch of kids out to play, but a promise was a promise, and soon he was surrounded by most of the kids, and his own father.

“I don’t think they’ll let you on the playset, Dad.”

Dominick winked. “It’s either kid’s duty or washing up, so I’m coming with you.”

They wrestled the kids into their coats and woolly gear, then set out, his father on point and Sonny bringing up the rear, all four kids between them like ducklings in a row, from the tallest to the smallest, making at least two people laugh on the way. Halfway to the playground, Sonny hoisted Naomi on his shoulders.

At the playground, the children scattered immediately, running and laughing and climbing. It was almost deserted, as the temperature was rather on the nippy side.

His father poked him in the ribs. “Alison Pirani is here with her daughter. She’s single, you know.”

Sonny paused, heaved a big sigh, and turned towards his father, thrusting his hands in his pockets. “Dad, I need to tell you something.”

Dominick frowned in worry. “Are you all right?”

“What? Yes, yes. I’m not sick or anything. I’m…” He looked away, watching the kids playing. “I’m gay.”

Dominick took him by the arm. “What did you say?”

This time, Sonny looked him right in the eyes. “I’m gay, Dad. I like men. Well, one man in particular.”

His father opened his mouth, closed it again. After a moment that seemed to last an hour, he said, sounding upset, “I didn’t know. Why didn’t I know?”

“Dad…” Gently, Sonny disengaged his arm. “You didn’t know because I never told you. Or Mom.”

“You told your sisters?”

“Bella, yes. Not Gina or Teresa.”

Dominick looked above Sonny’s shoulder and yelled. “Gabriel Joseph Carisi you get up this instant, young man!”

Sonny whirled in time to catch six-year-old Gabriel reluctantly moving from his position head first on his belly on the slide. He exchanged a look with his father and went to pluck the kid, setting him down on the ground and bringing him back with him.

“Five minutes timeout, buddy.” He spoke over the boy’s protestations. “You know the rules, Gabriel.” He set a timer on his phone and kept a hand on Gabriel’s hood. The boy crossed his arms and frowned, his bottom lip protruding by almost an inch.

“You shouldn’t make this face,” Dominick said. “If the wind turns, you’ll be stuck with it all your life.”

Gabriel turned horrified eyes to Dominick, and Sonny had to cough to disguise his bout of laughter.

They all stood in silence, watching the other children play. When Sonny’s phone chimed, he released Gabriel and sent him back to play.

Immediately, Dominick asked, “You said there was one man in particular.”

“Yeah, I— You’re taking this really well, Dad.”

Naomi bounded toward them and asked for a drink. Dominick handed her a pouch of juice and Sonny helped her with the straw. She ran back toward the playground, pouch in hand.

Dominick watched Sonny from the corner of his eyes. “I’ve thought about it a little, recently. You remember Bridget? She teaches AP History.” Sonny must have looked as blank as he felt because Dominick added, “Mrs McNamara.”

Sonny nodded, remembering the diminutive blonde teacher. He’d never had her as a teacher and said so.

Dominick nodded. “Her daughter came out as a lesbian, last year. Brought her girlfriend home and everything. There was a huge uproar and words were exchanged and now they’re not speaking anymore.” He shook his head. “So I thought about it. In the abstract.”

He fell silent. After a few minutes, unable to take it anymore, Sonny asked, “And?”

Dominick wrapped his arms around Sonny in a tight hug. Releasing him, he said, “And you’re my children and I love you all and I could no more stop talking to you than I could stop breathing. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel as if you couldn’t tell me. I love you.” He chuckled. “You’re my favorite son, you know that?”

Sonny smiled at the tired old joke. “And you’re my favorite father, Dad.”

Dominick squeezed his shoulder. He didn’t say what Sonny’s mother thought about the situation with the McNamaras, but Sonny could imagine.

“Do you have a young man?”

Sonny grimaced. “Not in so many words. I don’t have him.”

“Do I need to have a talk with him about his intentions?” His father looked squared at the very thought, and Sonny smiled at the mental image.

“No, I—” He was interrupted by Naomi, who tugged on his coat. He crouched, so that his face was level with hers. “Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can I go look for shells on the beach?”

“Not alone, sweetie. Ask the others if they want to go.”

She ran back, yelling, “We can go if we all go!”

Dominick helped Sonny get back up, laughing. “This one! Her parents have their hands full.” He shook his head.

“I’m in love with him,” Sonny said abruptly, honest for the first time about his feelings. “I don’t know about him.”

“Oh, kiddo.” Dominick wrapped his arm around Sonny’s shoulders and pulled him into a light hug, punctuating it with a kiss to the forehead. Sonny had thought himself too old for these kinds of gestures to work, but he’d been wrong. He felt immediately better about life in general.

They separated to corral the kids to the nearby beach. Apparently it was not Naomi’s first trip to the beach as she proceeded to lecture the older children about the intricacies of shell hunting. Soon they were walking with intent, their eyes riveted to the ground.

“Tell me about him.”

“We work together. You remember, when Tommy was raped? He’s the one who nailed that woman’s ass to the wall.”

“Language, Sonny. The prosecutor? The one you’re always talking about?” His father looked as if he was having an epiphany. “What’s his name? It’s Spanish, right?”

“Rafael Barba. And he’s from Cuba. Well, his family.”

Dominick looked askance at him. “Catholic?”

“Um. Technically.”

“Gay?”

Sonny sighed. “Enough to let me bring him home a couple of times. But we aren’t dating. It’s complicated.”

“It’s only as complicated as you make it. Have you asked him out for dinner or a movie?”

“I should.” He smiled at his father. “I will.”

“Attaboy.”

Sonny looked at his watch. “I should get going. I’m on foot and I’d like to get home at a decent hour.”

“You could ask Chiara and Nick to leave you in Brooklyn. That’s not much, but it cuts out a bus from the commute.” Dominick turned away and bellowed, “Naomi, Gabriel, Tony, Lucia! Time to go home.”

“And squeeze myself between Naomi’s and Michael’s seats? Yeah, I’ll take my chance with the bus.”

Dominick looked at the lanky frame his son had inherited from him. “Good point.”

“Do we have to?” Naomi asked.

“Yes you do,” Sonny said. Naomi was already drooping with fatigue, and the older children weren’t far behind.

Naomi slipped a sandy hand in his, and he caught Gabriel with the other, while his father held the other two. The trip back was slow-going and Sonny was grateful when they reached his parents’ house. The children went to their respective parents, showing off shells and pretty rocks.

Sonny’s mom tried to persuade him to stay for dinner, but that would have meant arriving home late in the evening and he was working the morning shift on Monday, so he begged off.

* * *

Once he was sitting on the nearly empty bus, Sonny heaved a sigh of relief. He hadn’t realized how anxious the perspective of coming out had made him. Maybe he’d try telling Amanda next.


	4. In which Rafael turns a bad decision into a habit

The day had been long, and Rafael was finally starting to relax, lying full length on his sofa, his socked feet sticking out, a glass of scotch perched precariously on his belly.

He was wondering how bad an idea it would be to call Carisi over. Rafael had thought a second night together would take the man out of his system, but the last two weeks had put an end to that idea. His obsession with Carisi was as strong as ever, exacerbated by two weeks during which they’d only caught glimpses of each other.

His reflections were interrupted by the buzzing of his phone, trying to vibrate itself off the coffee table. Maybe it was Carisi, relieving him of the humiliation of calling himself.

Rafael groped the coffee table until he caught his phone. Not Carisi. His mother.

“¡Hola, mamí!”

“Rafael, you could sound more enthusiastic.”

Rafael chuckled and sat up, as if his mother could see him and tell him off for abusing the furniture.

“I love you too. Are you calling for a reason, or because you like the sound of my voice?”

“Not as much as you do.” Without giving him time to react to the barb, she added, “Something weird happened on TV tonight.”

“On TV? Which channel?”

“No, it’s too late, they’ve cut to commercials. You might be able to catch a replay on the internet, though. It’s a reality TV show called Heart’s Desire.”

Rafael’s eyebrows climbed up his forehead. He rose to get his laptop and booted it.

“It’s brainless entertainment, perfect when you’re too tired to think,” she added defensively.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Please, Rafí. I could hear you thinking all the way across town. Anyway,” she said in a pointed tone, “one of the participants said, on air, that she was raped.”

That certainly caught his attention. “Are you sure it wasn’t scripted? These things are hardly improvised.”

“If it was, they wouldn’t have cut to commercials in the middle of a sentence.”

He found the show’s website, but tonight’s episode wasn’t online yet. They might not even put it up, or only heavily edited. He grabbed a legal pad and a pen. “Can you give me the details?”

It did sound pretty damning. Rafael would have to call Olivia tomorrow, if no-one had beaten him to the punch yet. The show sounded like the kind of things the wife of the Chief of Police liked to watch.

* * *

“Actually, Rollins and Carisi brought it up this morning. Apparently they were watching the show. They’re at the studio right now.”

“Good,” Rafael said dryly. “The DA was watching too, so I got a call this morning.”

“We had a few concerned citizens, including the Chief of Department’s wife.”

“Great. Keep me in the loop.”

* * *

Rafael spent his day running after judges to get warrants signed, making trips back and forth between his office and the 16th Precinct. At the end of the day, he felt that he was personally responsible for at least half of Uber’s NYC revenue.

At least he had the satisfaction of seeing Carisi looking ridiculously attractive in a vest that hugged his slim torso and made him itch to unbutton it.

After the Princes had left and Olivia had sent everyone home for the day, Rafael caught Carisi’s eye.

“Split a cab?” he asked, not loud enough for Amanda to hear, and not low enough for her to wonder why he and Carisi had secrets.

Carisi considered him for a long moment. “Sure,” he finally said.

Outside, he asked, “Have you eaten?”

To Rafael’s mortification, the mere idea of food was enough to wake up his stomach and let it do the talking. Carisi only laughed.

“I know a good restaurant not far from my place.”

Rafael hesitated. “I won’t be able to stay.”

“We could stop at your place on the way over, pick up a change of clothes.”

“I wanted to—” Have you in my own bed. Maybe not the most appropriate thing to say to a— a casual hookup. Was Carisi a casual hookup? It felt wrong.

Carisi was still waiting for an answer, so he went with, “My bed is more comfortable. Bigger.”

“We could stop at mine so I’d pick up a change.”

It sounded appealing, yes.

* * *

Dinner was unexpectedly nice. The food was excellent, but Rafael hadn’t expected anything else from someone who cared as much about food as Carisi did.

The company was even better. Carisi had a keen mind and could keep up with Rafael’s sharp tongue, trading barbs with the same enjoyment that Rafael felt.

Carisi distracted him with anecdotes about his colleagues or his fellow students, displaying an hitherto unknown talent for storytelling, making Rafael laugh a few times.

When the check arrived, Carisi caught it before Rafael could so much as think about getting it and paid for Rafael’s meal over his protests. “You’ll pay next time,” he only said, apparently absolutely certain that there would be a next time.

Not that Rafael could blame him. Dinner and sex on a semi-regular basis went a little further than a hookup. He ruminated on this as he followed Carisi out of the door and to his apartment. Had dinner been a date? Were they dating? Would it be so awful if they were?

The answer to that question, obviously, was a resounding yes. The professional logistics alone would be a nightmare: official disclosures to both their bosses, one of which was Rafael’s best friend, having to avoid any hint of a conflict of interest.

Personally, well. The sex was good, of course, or he wouldn’t have come back for seconds and thirds. Their personalities, though. Next to Carisi, Rafael felt old and grumpy and misanthropic.

He was so busy thinking he hadn’t even noticed they’d arrived to their first destination. He waited at the door while Carisi gathered a change of clothes into, Rafael was pleased to see, a proper garment bag.

Carisi turned, a smile appearing on his face as he caught sight of Rafael. He caught him by the waist with the hand not holding the bag and kissed him, deep and hard and long enough that Rafael started to reconsider spending the night at his own place.

Carisi stepped away and nudged him out to close and lock the door. “Come on, there’s a car waiting.”

Rafael followed him to a yellow cab.

“I can’t believe you still use actual cabs.”

“I like cabs. They pay their taxes.”

Carisi had a point. Rafael followed him inside, giving his address, just as his phone rang. It was the “unknown caller” melody, and Rafael’s anxiety spiked.

He answered with a very curt, “Barba.” As expected, the call hung up immediately.

“Work?” Carisi asked.

“Wrong number.” Rafael wasn’t sure exactly why he was lying to Carisi. If someone needed to hear about the threats, it was a cop. Especially since he was almost certain that they came from other cops.

He pushed them away from his mind and turned slightly toward Carisi, deliberately changing the subject. “What are you going to do when you pass the bar?”

There was a pause, then Carisi said, “You have no idea how gratifying it is to hear you say ‘when’ and not ‘if’.”

Uh. The perspective of Carisi failing had not even entered his mind.

“Well, there’s no limits on how many times you can take it.” He added, “But I honestly think it won’t take more than the once.”

Carisi beamed at him. “If I ever do use it, it will be as an ADA.”

That didn’t sound very definitive. “But…”

“But I like being a cop, and being SVU, and I’m not sure I want to be bottom of the totem pole _again_.”

“You’re bottom of the totem pole _now_.”

Carisi made a face, the one Rafael liked, that said, _I can’t believe you’re saying those mean things to me._

“My luck that the new guy is both a sergeant and a Dodds.”

Whatever Rafael would have replied was lost as the driver announced they were arrived. Again, Carisi paid before Rafael could react. Outside the car, Carisi looked at the row of identical brownstones, not sure which one was Rafael’s.

Rafael put a hand on the small of his back, stirring him in the right direction. Carisi was polite, but Rafael could see him examining the building.

“As an ADA with nearly twenty years of experience, my salary is enough to afford either a fabulous apartment, or fabulous clothes, but not both.”

Carisi smiled back at him, “Can’t say I’m disappointed in your choices, Rafael. I like your ties.”

Did they do first names, now? Rafael liked the sound of his name on Carisi’s lips. Should he call him Sonny? That was a little boy’s name, though, and it rather killed the mood. He shelved the problem for later.

“Do you want a drink?” There. Problem solved. No way he would offer alcohol to a little boy.

Carisi deliberately laid his bag on the back of the sofa, then crowded Rafael against it. “I do not want a drink, Rafael. I want you to fuck me into _your_ mattress until we both collapse from exhaustion.”

Not a little boy at all. Noted. Rafael stepped up and kissed Carisi, his hands pushing his jacket away and then settling on his belt. Carisi got rid of his shirt and undershirt while Rafael pushed down his pants, trapping his legs.

There was a moment of awkwardness and shared laughter when Carisi almost fell down, then he was naked, his erection jutting out in front of him. Rafael longed to get on his knees and taste it, but he let himself be herded in the direction of the bedroom, first.

The position would have been murder on his knees, anyway.

* * *

Rafael was barely awakened when Carisi climbed over him to get out of the bed.

“Bathroom’s the first door on the left,” he mumbled.

Carisi must have understood him, because he doubled down to gratify him with a peck on the lips. He heard the door open and close, then the buzz of the light turning on. The sound of the water falling on the tiles lulled him back to sleep.

A muffled “For fuck’s sake” woke him up again. Taking a wild guess at what had Carisi grumbling so early in the morning, he said loudly, “Bottom drawer!” He kept disposable razors and spare toothbrushes there.

Carisi reappeared a few minutes later, naked and damp from the shower, his breath minty. Rafael tried to grab him, but Carisi squirmed away. “Sorry, I have to go.” To his credit, he did sound sorry.

He went into the living room, still naked. Rafael debated going out of bed to watch him put his clothes on, then the decision was taken out of his hands when Carisi darted back into the bedroom, laughter bubbling up on his face.

“I gave an eyeful to the old lady across the street, I’m afraid.”

Rafael sat up, pushing his pillows behind his back. “Most exciting part of her day, I’m sure.”

Carisi put on his clothes quickly and efficiently, putting an end to the spectacle all too soon, then spent a few minutes collecting yesterday’s clothes and putting them away in his bag.

Rafael handed him his badge and gun, from the drawer where they’d carefully stashed them in before moving onto the fun parts. There was something inherently sexy in the way Carisi donned his detective persona with quiet competency.

Finally ready, Carisi looked around, taking in Rafael’s position for the first time. “Maybe I should have put some music on,” he said, his voice dark with sarcasm.

“Next time,” Rafael said. Who was he kidding? Of course there would be a next time.

Carisi beamed at him and Rafael smiled tentatively back. He put a knee on the bed, crowding Rafael against the wall and kissing him with intent until they were both breathless.

“I’ll see you later.”

When Carisi was at the door of the bedroom, Rafael called, trying out the name, “Dominick.”

Carisi turned his head, a happy smile on his face.

“Be safe.”

Carisi’s smile turned serious. “Promise.”


	5. In which Sonny has the best day of his life

Sonny was almost giddy with excitement as he let himself out of Rafael’s apartment. Rafael hadn’t protested the dinner or the use of his first name, and had even used Sonny’s this morning.

Now he just had to figure out his strategy. Should he press his advantage? Invite Rafael over for the weekend? Or should he go slow and give him some time?

Yeah no, time was a bad idea. Rafael was likely to use it to develop regrets and ideas about how dating your younger co-worker was a recipe for disaster. Better Sonny move in for the kill as soon as possible.

* * *

Of course, man plans, and God laughs. 

The Heart’s Desire special aired on Wednesday, plunging Rafael in a vicious mood. They worked late in the night to find an angle and spent the next two days trying to get one over the Princes.

By the time Sonny was free and ready to extend an invitation to Rafael for a decadent weekend in bed, Bella called him in a panic. She and Tommy had both come down with norovirus, so Sonny took custody of a perfectly healthy Emilia for the weekend, until they felt well enough.

Sonny didn’t begrudge time spent with his favorite niece, but the timing could have been better. And it was a little cramped in his shoebox of an apartment once he had unpacked all the baby paraphernalia. Still, he had a lot of fun.

Which was a good thing, because the next week was a drag. The squad caught a case on Tuesday morning; by the time Sonny arrived to take the afternoon shift, it was already closed, the perp caught and processed, Rafael back at One Hogan Place.

Sonny spent the rest of the week catching up on his paperwork and worrying about the results of the bar exam, until it was Friday morning already, and only a few minutes before the results were posted online.

Amanda was nearly as nervous as he was; even Fin wanted to know how he’d done. Sonny refreshed the page for the tenth time in the last quarter of an hour, and finally, there it was. He entered his login and password, and…

His heart stuttered. His ID number was on the list.

“You passed!?” Fin exclaimed.

“I passed. Oh my God.” It didn’t feel real.

Amanda hugged him tightly. He accepted the Lieu’s congratulations. She asked him if he meant to leave and he hurried to deny it, even though he was still torn. From there, the conversation deviated onto Dodds’ departure, taking the heat off him.

Later in the morning, when everyone had gone back to normal, Sonny sent a text to Rafael.

[i passed!!!!!]

The reply was almost immediate. [who dis?]

Sonny blinked in confusion, but Rafael’s name was at the top of the screen and the string of messages they’d exchanged before was stacked on top of his last one. He shook his head with a smile. Rafael must be in a good mood.

Carefully, he typed, [Dominick Carisi Jr, Esquire], and pressed send.

The phone rang. Sonny stood up and went into one of the interview rooms for privacy before answering.

“I walked straight into this one, didn’t I?” Rafael said without bothering with the niceties.

Sonny laughed. “Yes, yes you did.”

There was a pause, then Rafael said, his tone not quite as self-assured as usual, “Can I take you out to lunch? To celebrate?”

Sonny felt like whooping in glee, but managed to contain his excitement, mostly, as he answered. “Yes, of c— Wait, no.” He grimaced in disappointment. “The Lieu is taking us out to lunch.” Sonny would have blown off the rest of the squad like Fin was doing, except the lunch was technically in his honor. “Dinner?”

“Dinner is good, yes. What time do you get off?”

Sonny repressed an off-color joke that was sure to be received with twice the disdain it deserved. “Five, barring any catastrophe between now and then.”

“In this case, I’ll pick you up from your apartment at seven, Counselor.”

The call went dead before Sonny had time to answer. He exhaled slowly. It was the first time Rafael had unambiguously taken the initiative instead of alluding and pushing until Sonny asked. And he had called him ‘Counselor’! He was a real lawyer, now.

* * *

At two to seven, Sonny was ready. He was freshly showered and shaved, his best suit paired with the beautiful red silk tie Teresa had given him for Christmas and that he never wore to work. He hooked his badge into the fob pocket and put his gun in his holster.

There was a knock at the door. The look on Rafael’s face, when Sonny opened, was entirely gratifying. His eyes swept from top to bottom then back up. Experimentally, Sonny wet his lips, drawing in Rafael’s gaze to his mouth and causing him to mirror the gesture. Sonny groaned.

Rafael snapped out of his daze at the sound, his eyes going back to Sonny’s. He took another step forward and used both hands to push Sonny’s head lower until their faces were level. The kiss started slow and grew heated quickly.

Sonny tried to pull Rafael inside. He let himself be led for a couple of steps, then realized what was happening and pushed Sonny away gently.

“We have a reservation and I want to take you out.”

“Are you sure?”

Rafael didn’t dignify that with an answer and set his hand low on Sonny’s back, guiding him out, stroking him with his thumb when Sonny paused to close and lock the door.

* * *

The restaurant was small and semi-famous, and if Sonny remembered the reviews he’d read online a few months ago, extremely expensive. Not that he could verify that, because the menu he was handed did not show any prices.

“I feel like a 50s housewife taken to dinner by the breadwinner of her household,” he complained, only partly humorously.

Rafael’s lips twitched even as he kept his eyes glued to the menu. “Did you say something, honey?”

Because his mother had raised him right, Sonny refrained from kicking Rafael under the table, and ordered from the middle of the menu. He was about to start a light conversation on inconsequential subjects when Rafael preempted him.

“You’re armed.”

So much for light conversation. “Fin and the Lieu caught a case this afternoon. I hope I won’t get called, but if I am, I’d prefer not to have to go back home to get my badge and gun back.”

Rafael frowned. “A case? Anything I have to concern myself with before Monday?”

Sonny raised his hands in ignorance. “All I know is it’s someone Fin’s son works with. He’s a social worker.”

Just then, his phone chimed with a notification. Sonny grimaced apologetically and looked at it. It was the Lieutenant.

[Might have work for you tomorrow. Don’t leave town ;)]

He showed the phone to Rafael just as he started reaching for his own.

“Well, apparently I’ll be working too.” He sighed. “So much for my plans.”

Sonny raised his eyebrows. “You had plans?”

Rafael made the phone disappear again. “Absolutely. I thought I would chain you to my bed for the weekend.”

Startled, Sonny laughed. “You know you don’t need to chain me to get me to stay there, right?”

“I had an inkling, yes. Dominick…”

Whatever he wanted to say, he was interrupted by the server who arrived with their appetizers. Tiny bites of food were artistically arranged on a large plate. It looked delicious, but not nearly enough calories for the vigorous activities Sonny had in mind for the night.

Sonny started eating, while Rafael looked at his plate as if it held all the secrets of the universe. After a couple of minutes watching him neither eating nor continuing the conversation, Sonny said, “You wanted to tell me something?”

“Yes,” Rafael said abruptly. He attacked his food with more vigor than it warranted.

Sonny reached out, wrapping his hand around Rafael’s wrist, stilling his movement.

Rafael looked up, finally. He took a deep breath. “Dominick, are we dating?”

At some point, Sonny would have to ask him what was up with using the first name that literally no one else used, but time and place.

“Yes. Yes we are.” He paused, then plowed on. “Is this—” Sonny made a circular motion, encompassing the whole situation, both of them sitting at a fancy restaurant on a Friday night. “—not something you want?”

Rafael sighed. “I don’t know what I want.”

Sonny smiled, helpless with tenderness. “Then figure out what you don’t want and go from there.” He paused. “Do you want me to leave, Rafael?”

Rafael’s horrified “No!” surprised even him. Sonny watched in amazement as he colored and avoided his gaze. “No,” Rafael said after a minute, a lot more poised, “I don’t want you to leave.”

“Then I won’t.” Sonny started eating again, the matter settled.

Rafael followed suit after a moment. Pointedly, Sonny started to speak about the recent Supreme Court decision in _Welch v United States_ , playing devil’s advocate for the simple pleasure of arguing with Rafael. It served quite easily to distract him until the last thing on his mind was the exact nature of their relationship.

* * *

Early the next morning, Sonny rose up, taking care not to disturb Rafael. In his underwear, he padded into the kitchen, opening the fridge and a couple of cupboards. Not unexpectedly, there wasn’t much in the way of food.

Quietly, he asked Siri for a good bakery while he put some clothes on. Before leaving, he set up the coffee pot and stuck a post-it to it.

_Gone to find breakfast_

He borrowed the keys that Rafael had left in the lock the evening before.

Siri’s first choice didn’t look that appealing, so he walked a little further, enjoying the brisk cold, knowing it would mellow out during the day. Pity they both had to work.

When he let himself in Rafael’s apartment again, the coffee was half gone, the door to the bathroom closed with the water running.

Sonny set his box on the counter. He poured himself a coffee, then remembered that Rafael didn’t keep either milk or creamer at home, so he skimmed some whipped cream off the top of one of the cakes. It tasted a little weird, but not bad.

Rafael came out of the bathroom mostly dressed, his empty mug in hand. He finished the pot of coffee and immediately set up another.

“What time do you need to go?” Sonny asked.

“After breakfast,” Rafael said firmly while inspecting the cardboard box. He took two plates and slid a slice of cake in each, giving the bald one to Sonny. “Olivia didn’t give me a time, so she can wait.”

Sonny stole a kiss when Rafael handed him the plate, nearly upending it. He drew back, set both plates back on the counter, and took Rafael in his arms for a proper good morning kiss. After a long moment tasting the coffee on Rafael’s lips, Sonny trailed down his jaw and neck to kiss the triangle of skin that the open collar showed. It had long been a fantasy of his.

“We definitely don’t have time for that.” Rafael’s voice was breathless and his fingers tangled in Sonny’s hair, weakening his argument beyond repair.

Rafael was probably right, which didn’t prevent Sonny from sliding his fingers in the gap between the buttons of Rafael’s shirt. Unfortunately, Rafael was wearing an undershirt, making naked skin inaccessible. Defeated, Sonny went back to Rafael’s lips, settling his hands on his hips sedately above the fabric.

“Raincheck?”

Rafael had to find his brain back to answer. “I— Yes. Tonight?”

“Depends on how today goes, but yes.” Sonny smiled and got a happy smile in return. He passed a piece of cake to Rafael, content to simply watch as the man savored every bite in a display that Sonny was sure was not totally innocent.

When he was done Rafael poured himself yet another coffee and wandered back into the bedroom, emerging a couple of minutes later fully armored in a brown three-piece suit. The effect with the blue-grey shirt he wore was striking, and Sonny privately resolved to steal the color combination for himself.

“I hate to throw you out, but…”

“Nah, don’t worry. I have to go home and change, anyway.”


	6. In which Rafael finally accepts the inevitable

It was a good thing that Rafael’s morning had started so well, as it ended up being the one bright spot in a miserable day.

Fin, Olivia, and Dodds brought him a nightmare of a case. Most of the rapes were out of his jurisdiction, and try as he might, he couldn’t think of a single ADA in the Bronx who’d be willing to take them on. The one rape in Manhattan was going to be a nightmare to prove.

He was going to have to ride SVU pretty hard to make sure the case was airtight. He could already feel his ulcer flaring up.

A few minutes after the detectives had left his office, Dominick sent him a text.

[On my way to Rikers]

The evening was looking even further out of reach.

* * *

Dominick’s last text had been two hours ago, warning Rafael that he couldn’t make it tonight. Not that Rafael had expected anything else.

He was sprawled on his sofa, feeling sorry for himself, when the phone rang. It was the anonymous ringtone again. Rafael wished he could afford to only answer calls from people he knew. He slid the icon to the green and put the phone to his ear.

It hung up immediately.

Suddenly uneasy and feeling as if he was going to burst out of his skin, Rafael sent a quick text to Dominick.

[Come here tonight. Just to sleep.]

Rafael felt foolish immediately after sending it, but also better and vaguely reassured.

[give me 30 minutes]

* * *

A little over 40 minutes later, a grumpy and tired Dominick showed up, his garment bag in hand. A deep kiss by Rafael mellowed him considerably, and he ended up settling his forehead in the crook of Rafael’s neck while mumbling, “I have to leave early tomorrow. Rikers again, and I want to go to morning mass before.”

“Rikers again? I suppose I’m going to have to go to the precinct tomorrow…” He didn’t comment on the mass thing. He was dating a good Catholic boy; he’d known that before starting.

Dominick straightened up, then stretched, accentuating the lankiness of his body. “Likely, if only to strategize. Charisse was arrested again tonight.”

That wasn’t good. “On what grounds?”

“Resisting arrest. We’ll have more details tomorrow.” He yawned. “Sorry.”

Rafael shook his head with a smile. “Let’s get to bed, Dominick.”

He led the way to the bedroom.

“What is up with you calling me Dominick? Do you realize the last person to call me that was Mrs Wilson in AP American Politics, in high school?”

“Seriously?”

Dominick made a face at him. “It’s what people call _my father_. What’s wrong with Sonny?”

Rafael winced. “It makes me feel as if you’re five years old. This is not a good feeling.” After a moment, he added, “Sorry.”

“No, I—” Dominick shrugged. “You can’t help how you feel, I suppose. I know it’s not the most mature name. It’s just… you’re literally the only person who calls me that.”

Rafael slid the jacket off Dominick’s shoulders and started on his shirt buttons. “That feeling I like,” he pointed out.

Dominick snorted. “You would.” He yawned again. He took off his slacks while Rafael was folding his shirt. “Don’t know why you bother, it’s going into the laundry anyway.”

Once he was in his underwear, he crawled inside the bed. By the time Rafael removed his own clothes, Dominick was already deep in sleep. He woke up enough to gather Rafael and wrap himself around him, but soon he was back to snoring lightly in Rafael’s ear.

Rafael could get used to this.

* * *

Rafael briefly woke up when Dominick rolled out of bed, then a half-hour later roused himself enough to respond to the brief goodbye kiss Dominick gave him.

Much later, he dragged himself to the precinct. Dodds and Dominick were missing, possibly still in Rikers.

“How did you know we’d need you?” Olivia said with a welcoming, though strained, smile.

Ah, oops. “I had a feeling.”

“Good feeling. Dodds and Carisi went to get Charisse so we could have a private talk. They should be here any minute.”

“Rikers? She was arrested again? Wonderful.” Rafael really needed to work on his innocent face.

Just then, Dodds and Dominick entered, Charisse between them, despair radiating off her. With a last look at Rafael, Olivia took over with Fin. Dominick went to help Rollins with the camera footage, and Dodds planted himself next to Rafael while he watched Charisse’s interview.

* * *

Court on Monday was more harrowing than he’d expected. He usually had no problems asking for remand or very high bails, but the people he prosecuted tended to be garbage. These women were trying to eke out a living in a system that was stacked against them. As a child he’d known dozens like them.

Then of course, they all refused to testify. He couldn’t even blame them; they had a lot to lose and not much to show for it.

Before Rafael left the precinct, he asked Dominick, “You worked Bronx SVU before Manhattan, right?”

Dominick leaned back in his chair, looking at Rafael with a little more warmth than was probably wise in the precinct. “No, actually it’s the only borough I missed.”

Rafael sat down on the corner of Dominick’s desk. He struggled to recall what Olivia had told him two years ago.

“One month in Brooklyn and a week in Queens. And Staten Island doesn’t have a SVU, though I did work there just after the Academy,” Dominick explained. “That said, I’m hip on all the gossip. If you’re thinking about getting Bronx SVU to take on the rapes in Rikers, let’s just say you’re gonna have a tough time of it.”

“Damn. I still want to try.”

Dominick looked away for a minute, then back at Rafael, his jaw clenched in resolve. “Short-circuit them.”

“What?”

“Bronx SVU. Just go to someone else. Not all precincts are created equal. Better yet, find an ADA, and let them handle it.”

Rafael thought about it. It was good advice, except for the part where he still didn’t know an ADA who’d be willing to take the case on. He said as much to Dominick.

“You don’t know everyone in the Bronx DA’s Office, right?” Rafael didn’t even dignify that with an answer. “Rather than go for a well-known ADA, maybe you should go for a young ambitious one, eager to make a name for herself, even by making a lot of enemies.”

Rafael didn’t miss the specific pronoun. “You know someone.”

Dominick grimaced. “Maybe. I know her from Fordham. She was L3 when I was L1, so she’s only been working as an ADA for two years, but—” He hesitated. “I think she’s both idealistic and ambitious enough to take that case. Especially if you manage to get him condemned in Manhattan.”

“Ambitious, you say.”

“Ruthlessly.”

“Call her,” Rafael said decisively.

Dominick nodded, his hand already on his phone. “When are you free?”

“For now, all day tomorrow.” Rafael slid off the desk. “Let me know.”

* * *

[tomorrow 8am @ bronx main da’s office]

[her name is elizabeth trevisani]

Rafael logged the appointment in his agenda, then called Liv.

“Can you spare Carisi tomorrow morning?”

She thought for a minute. “We’re going to put a wire on Charisse tomorrow and see what we can fish. I don’t necessarily need him, no. Why?”

“He knows a Bronx ADA who might be willing to take on the Rikers rapes.”

“Ooh, yes. Take all the time you need. I’ll tell Carisi.”

“Thanks, Liv.”

He hung up without waiting for an answer, then, before he could change his mind, sent Dominick a text. [Stay at mine tonight?]

An answer came a few seconds later, except it was yet another anonymous text. [the only good lawyer is a dead lawyer]

That was the most graphic yet. The cliche it expressed made it difficult to take seriously, but the sheer number of threatening texts and calls were worrying nevertheless. Rafael promised himself that once they were done with the Munson case, he would talk to Dominick.

A new notification hid the string of threatening messages.

[wanna play hooky?]

[im free until tomorrow morning]

Actually it was an excellent idea. He could take his mind off things for a couple of hours, then elicit Dominick’s help for the files he was supposed to be working on right now. Win-win for everyone.

[Meet me at my place in an hour?]

Dominick’s answer was a single red heart emoji, sending Rafael into a tempest of doubt. He gathered his files mechanically, all the while thinking of his relationship with the man.

They were fast heading into disclosure territory, and he had to make a decision soon. There was no question that, objectively, Dominick would be better served by attaching himself to someone who was not male, ten years older and a bitter old cynic with a lot of enemies.

Yet.

That relationship was something Dominick wanted, something he had actively pursued, and he would likely take it extremely badly if Rafael tried to break up ‘for his own good’. Besides, Rafael wasn’t sure he would be able to do it.

They needed to have a serious talk about their relationship. Rafael mentally penciled it into his agenda for after Munson.

* * *

When he arrived home, Dominick was already there, his ever-present garment bag in hand, looking a little rumpled. His face lit up when he caught sight of Rafael, who felt his own face soften in an automatic response.

He greeted Dominick with a light peck on the lips and opened the way into the stairs, Dominick crowding him almost indecently. He pressed Rafael against the door as he was struggling to fit the key in the lock. They almost fell in when Rafael finally managed to get the door open.

They were barely inside when Dominick closed the door with his heel and fell to his knees, his hands and mouth both on Rafael’s crotch.

“Wait!” Rafael was embarrassingly breathless.

Dominick ignored him completely. Rafael grabbed his hair and pulled him away gently. Dominick looked up, looking so exaggeratedly betrayed that Rafael laughed, his grip on his hair softening in a caress.

“The key is still outside.”

“Be quick, then.”

By the time Rafael grabbed the key still in the outside lock and closed the door, Dominick had lost most of his clothes. He pushed Rafael into the sofa, spreading his legs and settling between them.

“We are in full view of the neighbor across the street,” Rafael said weakly. He didn’t dare looking to confirm.

Dominick paused and let his head fall onto Rafael’s thigh for a couple of seconds, then he jumped up and closed the blinds, plunging the room into semi-darkness. He got rid of the last scraps of clothing he still wore, then, entirely naked, stalked back to where Rafael was sprawled, shivering with anticipation.


	7. In which Sonny thinks all is well and Rafael self-sabotages

Sonny was awakened by the movements against him. Instinctively, he tightened his arms, trying to keep Rafael from leaving the bed. Rafael gave him a light peck on the lips and whispered, “Sorry, love, I still have work to do.”

Sonny’s eyes flew open. Rafael was puttering around, putting on clothes and leaving the bedroom, seemingly unaware of the earthquake he’d just inflicted on Sonny’s world.

Surely it was just a turn of phrase, one of these empty words people used without meaning them. Sonny shouldn’t read too much into one word.

Or maybe it was a Freudian slip, revealing Rafael’s innermost feelings.

Or maybe Sonny should get up, stop living in fantasy and make sure that the next time Rafael said the word, he meant it.

Of course, all his clothes were in the living room, and the blinds were wide open, flooding the room with light. He stopped at the doorstep, leaning against the jamb, waiting for Rafael to notice him. The double take he got when Rafael finally noticed left him laughing.

“I suppose you want your clothes,” he said, capping his pen and placing it on the pad in front of him.

“If you’d be so obliging.”

Rafael smirked and settled comfortably in his chair, looking him up and down. “I don’t know. I rather like the view.”

Sonny smiled sardonically. “Do you? I’m sure your neighbor will like it too.” He straightened up and stepped inside the living room.

Rafael rolled his eyes at him and went to close the blinds. He watched as Sonny put his clothes back on, wrinkles and all, and opened the blinds again once Sonny was decent.

“I’m putting the case together for Trevisani. You want to participate?”

“And so the real reason why you invited me here this afternoon is revealed.”

Rafael laughed in a way that indicated that Sonny’s quip was at least partly on the nose. Sonny looked at the mound of sheets spread on the table.

“Later,” he decided. “I’m going to feed you first. What do you have in the way of pots and pans here?”

Rafael’s eyes widened like a cornered animal’s.

“Don’t tell me. You don’t even remember.”

Rafael avoided his eyes. He sat again and pointedly looked at his files. “In the cupboard above the sink. There’s some canned food in the cupboard left of it. And there’s the fridge too.”

Sonny went to explore the kitchen. Rafael only owned two pots and one pan, which was less than what Sonny had owned in his first apartment when he’d still been an undergrad. The other cupboard boasted only one lonely can of mushrooms, and Sonny burst out laughing when he examined it.

Walking out of the kitchen with the can in hand, he said, “Do you know how out of date this thing is?”

Startled, Rafael answered, “It can’t be that long, I moved to Manhattan only, uh, four years ago.”

“Funny you should say that.” Sonny opened the cupboard under the sink, finding the garbage. He dropped the can inside with a solid thunk.

He put his jacket on and grabbed his wallet. “I’ll go buy something. Any preferences?”

“After that neat little demonstration of how very much I _don’t_ like cooking? No, anything’s fine.”

Sonny bent over to kiss the rueful smile off Rafael’s mouth. “Think of it that way: you _can’t_ be worse than Bella,” he said, opening the door and pocketing the key.

“Your sister? Really?”

Sonny turned and nodded solemnly. “One word: scurvy.”

He closed the door behind him, but not before he heard, “You’re joking! Dominick!”

* * *

When Sonny let himself back in Rafael’s apartment, laden with grocery bags, Rafael was waiting for him.

“You can’t say something like that and then leave!”

Sonny looked at his indignant face with the corner of his eyes as he set the bags on the table and took off his jacket. He bit back a smile.

“Yes I can. I just did.”

Rafael scowled darkly, following him into the kitchen where Sonny started to empty the bags.

“You know, I still have your sister’s number. I could text her for the truth.”

Sonny took a second to think about it, then decided to be reckless. “Why not?”

Rafael whirled out of the kitchen with a huff, presumably to retrieve his phone. Sonny started dinner. He’d kept it simple, as Rafael didn’t have much in the way of tools.

He turned the heat to low and wandered back to the living room, where Rafael was chuckling over his phone. Sonny bent over his shoulder, reading the string of messages from Bella where she was recounting the real story. Rafael looked up at him, upside down. Sonny couldn’t resist and kissed him.

Rafael was noticeably more flustered when he finally said, “She said I should kick your ass for lying.”

“I didn’t lie! I merely stretched the truth.”

Rafael raised a skeptical eyebrow while holding his thumb and index fingers almost together. Sonny only answered with a laugh and trailed his fingers along the nape of Rafael’s neck.

Rafael abandoned both phone and files to follow Sonny back into the kitchen. “Your sister didn’t seem surprised that I texted her out of the blue about something personal like this.” He leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets, radiating unease.

Sonny wondered how Rafael could look so arrogant in the courtroom, and so uncertain when he was alone with Sonny.

He smiled his best reassuring smile. “She already knows about us.” He rolled his eyes. “Apparently she’d been expecting an announcement for years.”

Rafael looked instantly more at ease, his smirk restored. “You were that obvious?”

Sonny swallowed his answer. He had a feeling that “No, _you_ were,” would send Rafael running for the hills. Instead, he cupped his hand around Rafael’s cheek.

After a few seconds, he let his hand fall and went back to the water that was finally boiling. He dumped in the fresh pasta he’d bought, and checked the sauce. Rafael took two plates out and spread them on the counter next to the stove, his right hand finding the small of Sonny’s back and staying there. Sonny leaned into Rafael’s hand and the domesticity of the scene.

* * *

In the morning, after sharing a shower and losing more time than they saved, they set out for the Bronx DA Office.

“It’s funny how you can spend your whole life in a city and never ever go to some parts of it,” Sonny remarked as he looked out of the Uber drive’s window.

Rafael looked up from his phone. “I love art. Every time I go on vacation, I visit the local art museum, no matter how small. And yet…” He chuckled ruefully. “I don’t even remember the last time I went to the Met.”

Sonny filed the fact away for future dates. He squeezed Rafael’s hand, then reluctantly released it so Rafael could start typing again.

“How did you met Trevisani? Fordham?”

“Actually, we’re related. I think. Somehow. Her grandmother was a cousin of my grandmother or something? Or maybe they just came from the same village in Italy. Which probably means they were cousins, to be honest.” Sonny rolled his eyes. “Anyway, when I started preparing the LSAT, my nonna invited her at some family function or other, and we became friends. Sort of.”

Rafael was laughing. “Sort of?”

“More than Facebook friends, but not really buddies, you know? And—” He snorted. “— we didn’t get together either, like both of our families were expecting.”

“Are you out to your family?” Rafael sounded much more serious.

Sonny grimaced. “Bella has known for about as long as I have. I told my dad two weeks ago. That’s it. I’ve been thinking about telling Rollins, but I haven’t yet.”

Thankfully, Rafael didn’t pass judgment on Sonny’s rather pitiful record. 

“How did it go, with your dad?”

Sonny brightened. “A lot better than I was expecting, to be honest. He even promised to start prodding Mom about it.”

Rafael interlaced his fingers with Sonny’s.

* * *

The meeting with Trevisani went well. She took all of their intel on the rapes that had taken place in Rikers, determined to dig as much dirt on as many people as she could before moving in for the killing strike. Munson being condemned in Manhattan would help a lot, she told the both of them, as if they didn’t know that.

When they came back to Manhattan, they went their separate ways, Rafael to meet Olivia and Munson and his representatives, and Sonny to help the rest of the squad gather evidence. Sonny only caught glimpses of Rafael for the rest of the week, busy as he was with Munson’s arraignment, but they exchanged a few texts, some tender, some frankly raunchy. Their relationship was progressing nicely, Sonny thought.

On Friday night, once the Lieu had released him, Sonny went to One Hogan Place, knowing he would find Barba working into the small hours of the night. He was carrying dinner for two, determined to keep the man away from his files for at least thirty minutes.

Carmen was already gone by the time he arrived. He only gave a perfunctory knock, waltzing into Rafael’s office before he could answer. Rafael startled violently, his pen flying and his hand going to his heart. Sonny felt immediately remorseful.

“It’s just me. Are you all right? I brought dinner.” He held up the bag before settling it on the conference table.

Sonny walked around the desk and bent over, his hand automatically settling on Rafael’s cheek in an affectionate caress.

Rafael leaned away, evading both hand and kiss, and pushed Sonny away.

“You’re overstepping, Detective.” His voice was cold and hard, confusing Sonny.

“Is it because we’re at work? Sorry.” Sonny kept his own tone light-hearted, even though he was a little stung by the rejection.

Rafael sat back in his chair, an ugly sneer on his face. “Look, Detective, it’s been fun, I won’t deny it. But it’s time we both moved on.”

Sonny’s stomach dropped. “What?” He searched Rafael’s face, but it was like looking at a stranger.

“Let’s be realist. It’s not like this—” He waved a hand around, looking derisive. “— has a chance in hell of working. The disparities between us are just— too great.”

Sonny clenched his jaw against the words that threatened to spill and forced himself to consider the situation impartially. Over the last few days, even though they had barely seen each other, Rafael had behaved like a considerate boyfriend, nothing like the jerk who was trying to break up with him by insulting him.

“What happened?” he asked, calmly.

Rafael rolled his eyes. “Nothing. A whole lot of nothing, actually. I’d prefer someone who is more available.”

Sonny breathed deeply. “You think I got this badge in a cereal box? You’re acting out of character. I want to know why.” He saw Rafael gearing himself up, and interrupted him. “You know what? I’m not in the mood for whatever nasty insult you’re brewing up. I can tell that you’re trying to drive me away, even though I don’t know why. I’m going to give you space. When you’re ready to talk, you have my number.”

He managed to go out of the office with his dignity intact. Two floors down, he entered the first bathroom he found and locked himself in a cubicle. He pushed down the lid and sat on it, putting his elbows on his knees and hiding his face in his hands. Sonny took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He felt sick, his stomach cramping in anxiety.

He was almost completely certain he was right, that Rafael was trying to achieve something he thought necessary by breaking them up in the nastiest way possible. He was just as certain that he didn’t want any part in what Rafael was thinking, but until Rafael talked, there was nothing Sonny could do.

After a few minutes, Sonny walked out and went home.


	8. In which Rafael realizes how much of an idiot he’s been

It was the worst weekend of Rafael’s life.

Quite apart from the fact that he had given his home address to someone who’d threatened to kill him, he’d managed to drive Dominick away. And now he couldn’t even call him, because he would surely come, and there was no need to make him a target, too.

So Rafael buried himself in work and tried to forget he may have thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to him.

* * *

Rafael had hoped that Olivia would take care of organizing his security detail. Of course, she didn’t have any reason to think he might not want to see Dominick.

He felt sick when he realized who accompanied Rollins. They placed themselves on either side of him, boxing him in, and he had to report about the threats with Dominick inches from him, close enough to feel his body heat and smell his cologne.

Detective Carisi was perfectly professional in his questions, but Rafael knew he was seething. When Rollins stepped away to call Liv, Dominick rounded up on him.

“Tell me you didn’t try to drive me away out of some misguided attempt to protect me,” he said, low and harsh.

“Hm.” There wasn’t much Rafael could say in his own defense, especially as Dominick had hit the nail on the head. “Uh, I—”

Whatever he had to say was cut off when Rollins turned back to them, with news that Dodds was held hostage by Munson. She ran out immediately, clearly expecting Dominick to follow.

Dominick hesitated. After a look at the door, he whispered, “We need to talk. Tonight at eight, at your place.” At a more normal volume, he added, “I’ll take care of your security detail.”

He left without another word, leaving Rafael to wonder what that ‘We need to talk’ entailed.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Rafael received a couple of texts from Carisi.

[sam murphy will coordinate your security detail]

[badge 8340]

Rafael gave the details to Carmen and tried to concentrate back on Munson. Not long after, he was interrupted by the arrival of Officer Murphy, a no-nonsense woman who must have barely cleared the height requirement of the NYPD, but who still looked like she could break Rafael in two.

She explained the protections that she had already set in place for him and told him what she expected of him. Rafael didn’t dare protest. He gave her access to his schedule and a list of authorized people, including the whole SVU squad to hide Dominick’s presence on the list.

At six, she escorted him back to his apartment and checked every door, window and lock. When she was gone, Rafael closed the door firmly behind her, feeling like a prisoner in his own home.

* * *

Eight came and went with no word from Dominick. Rafael hesitated a long time before sending a single interrogation point to him. There was no answer.

At least a couple of hours later, when Rafael had lost all hope, he received some texts.

[dodds was shot]

[@ the hospital right now]

His first reaction was relief at the simple explanation to Dominick’s absence, then horrified realization at what the words meant.

[Munson? Is Dodds all right?]

The answer was swift.

[yeah]

[claims he didn’t mean it]

[dodds in icu]

[he should pull through]

Rafael heard what Dominick was not saying. He stood up to pour himself a glass of whisky. He hesitated, then made it a double, and put the bottle back. If there was ever a time when getting drunk was not a good idea, it was now.

He went to the window, his glass in hand, then remembering Murphy’s advice, edged away from the exposed part, leaning against the wall on the side and looking out of the gap between the curtain and the wall. He felt foolish and exposed anyway, even though he could see the police car stationed in the street.

His phone buzzed against the glass of the coffee table and Rafael abandoned his post to check it. It was more texts from Dominick.

[elevator guy id’d = BX9 ltnt]

[we’re going out to search for him]

[we = fin, rollins and me]

[olivia staying @ the hospital w/ dodds sr]

He felt the familiar worry gnawing at his insides, at the thought of Dominick out there, mixing with the worst low-lives with only the flimsy protection of his badge and gun.

[Be safe.]

Rafael hesitated then, quickly, before he could change his mind, he sent another text.

[I love you.]

Unable to deal with his own actions, he set the phone to silent and buried it in the couch cushions before downing his glass and going to take a long shower. Not the most mature reaction, maybe, but Rafael didn’t care, at this point.

* * *

In the morning, Rafael woke up with a headache that not even a prompt application of caffeine managed to alleviate. He lost twenty minutes retrieving his phone from the depths of his sofa, then another twenty scrolling through all his missed messages and emails.

Dodds was dead.

It didn’t seem real. Rafael remembered the bright young man. Everyone had been wary at first of the Chief’s son, but they’d all managed to warm up to him. And it had been his last day at SVU. What a stupid fucking way to die. Though if it came to that, Rafael supposed they were all stupid ways to die.

Rafael sighed and opened Dominick’s text history. The last one was still Rafael’s declaration. Dominick hadn’t answered his text from last night at all. No texts, no missed calls. Had he even seen it?

Just then another message came in.

[on my way up to yours]

[open the door]

A few seconds later the door buzzed. Sure enough, it was Dominick, wearing a NYPD vest and looking dead on his feet. Rafael barely had time to lock the door behind him before he found himself with an armful of Dominick, trying his best to hide his face in Rafael’s neck, no mean feat given that he was taller by a good four inches.

Rafael maneuvered them both to the sofa, then arranged Dominick until he was sprawled on his chest, his head tucked under Rafael’s chin. He stroked Dominick’s hair softly and didn’t comment in any way when he felt his shirt grow damp, only tightened his arms around Dominick. He was going to be late for work, but it didn’t matter.

When Dominick had stilled and his breathing evened out, Rafael brushed his hair out of his face and looked down. Dominick was not asleep, just bone-deep exhausted, but he still managed a smile in answer to Rafael’s.

“Want to stay here for the day? I have to go, but you’re welcome to my bed if you want.”

The hand that rested on his chest clenched in his shirt. “Can’t. I have to go back, we didn’t find Heredio.”

“Heredio? Oh, the BX9 lieutenant.”

Dominick nodded, rubbing his cheek against his chest and putting his hair further in disarray. Despite his claim that he had to go back, he made no move to actually get up. When Rafael traced the shell of his ear, he giggled and slapped weakly at Rafael’s hand. Dominick heaved himself up enough to reach Rafael’s mouth with his own, and they exchanged lazy kisses for a few minutes before Rafael had to paw at the sofa underneath him to find his buzzing phone.

“Carmen? Good morning. I know, I’m late, I’m sorry. Something came up.”

He listened to Carmen speak with half his brain, while the rest was busy trying to resist Dominick, who had taken to place little pecks along the side of his jaw.

“I was a little worried,” Carmen confessed. “Please let me know if you’re going to be late, given the circumstances.”

“Will do.” Carmen was the best assistant he’d ever had; there was no way Rafael wanted to damage their work relationship. “Can you cancel my meeting with Munson’s counsel? I want to let them stew.”

“He’s called three times this morning. Apparently he wants to make a deal.”

Dominick, who was close enough to hear the conversation, snorted. Rafael placed a hand over his mouth, both to shut him up and to stop those little kisses that were driving him to distraction.

“Of course he does. Not on the menu, but don’t tell him that. Just tell him that I’ll call him when I need him.” Rafael could hear Carmen’s eyebrows climbing up her forehead. With a start, he realized she didn’t know. “Munson shot Sergeant Dodds yesterday. He died last night.”

Carmen gasped. Rafael knew she had liked Dodds, who’d always been extra courteous with her. After a moment, she said, “I’m sorry to hear that. I’ll keep Counselor Patrino at bay. Will you be coming in later?”

“Yes, not sure when. I’ll let you know.”

He barely had time to hang up before Dominick was kissing him once more. Rafael abandoned himself to the kiss, cradling Dominick with his body. It didn’t last nearly as long as Rafael would have wanted.

After a moment, Dominick disentangled himself and stood up, stretching out, his shirt, now wrinkled beyond recognition, riding up enough to get free of his pants. “I need to get home and change, and you need to go to work. Sorry for making you late.”

Rafael rolled his eyes. “Yes, that was tragic. You may have noticed how tremendously I protested, in fact.”

Dominick only laughed. He helped Rafael stand up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“I really have to go, even though we still need to talk.” He must have interpreted the look on Rafael’s face correctly, because he hurried to add. “Nothing bad, I promise. But we stumbled upon this relationship and we never talked about it, and we need to make sure we’re on the same page.” Dominick’s smile was affectionate, his dimples showing in full force.

Rafael nodded, slowly. “I meant what I said. I love you.” It was a lot easier to say the second time around.

If anything, Dominick looked even softer. “I never dreamed you’d be the first to say it. I love you, too.”

A knot Rafael hadn’t even known was there seemed to untie in his chest as he watched Dominick leave.

* * *

Rafael chafed under the restrictions his jailer imposed on him. Maybe he was unfair with Murphy. Well, there was no maybe about it. She was only doing her job, and fantastically well, at that. At least here in church, surrounded by dozens of police officers, the surveillance had slackened a bit.

He’d taken his seat on the same pew as the SVU squad, sandwiched between Dominick and Olivia. He went through the familiar motions, the ritual words coming to his mouth easily after years of Sunday mass as a child.

At the end of Mass, the pallbearers rose, and Rafael was surprised to discover that Dominick was one. He’d not thought Dodds and Dominick had been that close, and wondered briefly how the pallbearers had been chosen. Tucker was another.

When the rest of the assembly rose, Rafael followed, feeling a little out of place in his civilian clothes among the sea of uniformed cops. He held his hands rigidly down when they all saluted as the coffin was loaded into the hearse.

Later in the pub, he sipped his whisky slowly and wondered which of the cops here, if any, were responsible for the threats he’d received for months now. Dominick was giving him reassuring words, and Rafael couldn’t help his smile softening in response, though it was likely neither the time nor the place.

He wished he could bring Dominick home with him tonight, but it wasn’t going to happen, not with his security detail on hand all night to note that Detective Carisi had entered his apartment early in the evening and hadn’t left it until the morning.

His attention was distracted by the toast, led by Rollins and Dominick. It sure sounded like Dominick and Dodds had been closer than he’d thought. Rafael felt a little ashamed that he didn’t know. But then, they’d only been dating for a short time, and with both of them in demanding jobs, they just hadn’t had time to talk, really talk, about themselves.

Now, with the threats and the security and everything, it was going to be even harder. Rafael scowled darkly into his glass, cursing Heredio and whomever had put him up to this.

By dribs and drabs, people started to leave, gradually emptying the bar. Rafael remained, not wanting to go back to his empty apartment, wanting to ask Dominick to come and knowing he couldn’t. Maybe he should lay off the scotch if he was going to wallow in his misery.

A warm hand landed on his shoulder.

“Counselor. Ready to go home?”

“Do I have to?” he asked plaintively.

Dominick’s eyebrows shot up and he glanced at Rafael’s glass.

“I’m not that drunk. Just—” Rafael looked away and sighed. “Just feeling sorry for myself, I guess. We still haven’t talked, and I don’t know when we’ll be able to.”

Dominick sat down with a smile that was frankly too tender. “Ever heard of a guy called Alexander Graham Bell?”

Rafael rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, we can talk on the phone. You know what I mean.” He drained his glass and slid off the bar stool. “Time to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, Detective?”

Dominick nodded. “I’ll keep you posted about Heredio.”

Rafael turned away, catching Murphy’s eye. He left without looking back.


	9. In which Sonny and Rafael disclose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all of you who commented, kudosed, or just read silently along! I love each and everyone of you ❤️❤️❤️

Sonny didn’t actually go home after the wake. He went back to the precinct with Rollins and Finn, where they all exchanged their dress blues for their regular clothes, then went right back to pounding the pavement and looking for Heredio.

In the early hours of the morning, they finally caught a break. One of the prostitutes Sonny was interrogating was vigorously denying she knew anything about Heredio’s whereabouts, but she also kept looking askance at one of the parked cars at the corner of the street, too frightened to lie well.

Sonny took pity on her and left, looking as if he’d given up and going back to his own car, where he called dispatch and gave them the model and plate of the car. He started the car and left, driving round the block back to where Heredio’s car was parked. It had already left, but just at that moment a patrol car announced they were following him.

Sonny stopped right in front of the same prostitute and rolled the window down. “He was in that red Chevrolet, wasn’t he?”

She gave a tiny nod. “Can you go? Please?”

“Do you want help?”

She looked away. “I can’t leave. It’s all right. Just go.”

Sonny left, feeling guilty he couldn’t help her. Most likely the gang had something to hold her. A kid maybe, or another family member. It was depressing.

The radio crackled with news of the patrol car who had been chasing Heredio. They’d stopped him and gave their location. Sonny put on the flashing light and sped up.

When he arrived, Heredio was there, swearing up a storm and claiming police harassment. Sonny saw at least two people filming the scene discreetly on their mobile phone. He ignored them, and approached Heredio.

“Felipe Heredio, you’re under arrest for aggravated harassment in the second.” Sonny read him his rights and cuffed him.

Heredio looked him up and down with a smirk that had Sonny wondering what the man knew of his relationship with Rafael.

“So, were the threats all your idea, or are you just the fall guy?”

Heredio scoffed contemptuously. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I hope you were paid well,” Sonny said while pushing Heredio’s head down, sending him to the back of the patrol car.

“Two fifty every time I talked to your lawyer, toyboy.”

Oh yes, Heredio knew. He’d probably been following Rafael for some time, and they hadn’t been especially discreet. Sonny probably should disclose to Liv before Heredio did it for them.

Belatedly, Heredio seemed to realize what he’d said. “I want a lawyer.”

“You sure? You know, you involve a lawyer, and then everything takes longer. We could have a productive chat, but a lawyer will insist that you don’t cooperate.”

Heredio smirked. “Then that’s your problem, isn’t it, toyboy?”

Sonny sighed. He straightened up and closed the car door.

“Process him and send him to the 16th. No need to rush him. Thanks for the help, officers,” he told the unis. 

“You’re welcome,” the female officer said. Her partner only nodded in acknowledgment.

Sonny went back to his car and debated who to call first. He sent texts to Fin and Amanda to let them know Heredio had been caught, then called Liv. Her greeting sounded half-asleep. He spared a thought of regret at waking her up.

“Lieu, sorry to disturb you at this hour, just to let you know we’ve got Heredio in custody.”

She already sounded more awake when she answered, “Oh good. Did he say anything?”

“He was paid two hundred and fifty dollars every time he talked to Barba, but he refused to say who paid him.” Sonny stifled a yawn. “It’s possible that they’re paying for his lawyer, too. We should look into that.”

“Yeah, during work hours. Go to bed, Carisi. Good work.”

“Thanks, Lieu. Sorry for waking you up.”

Sonny hung up. He felt suddenly bone-deep tired and wanted nothing more than to go to Rafael’s apartment and wrap himself around his lover. Instead he went back to his lonely shoebox in Washington Heights.

* * *

He woke up at seven, his head pounding from too little sleep. A couple of Tylenols and a vat of caffeine later, he felt vaguely more human, enough to call Rafael.

They needed to discuss disclosure, at this point. Sonny was surprised by his lack of anxiety about the prospect. He’d anguished so much about coming out that he still hadn’t told even Amanda, and now he was about to tell all of his colleagues at once, and it was not even a blip on his radar.

He asked Siri to call Rafael, who answered just before the call was about to go to voicemail. He got a grunt in greeting, a sure sign that Rafael hadn’t had his first coffee yet. Sonny chuckled gently even as he said, “Go drink your coffee, I’ll wait.”

There was another inarticulate noise, then the soft clatter of a phone set upon a table. Sonny pictured the scene in his mind, Rafael in sleep clothes, his hair soft and wild, his nose buried in the white mug with the faded Harvard crest he preferred in the mornings.

After a minute, Rafael picked the phone up again. “All right, I started the machine, you can talk to me.”

“I have one piece of good news and a couple of bad ones.”

Rafael sighed. “Why am I not surprised? Good news first, please. Butter me up for the rest.”

“We arrested Heredio last night. Speaking of which, you’ll need to come down to the precinct to identify him.”

There was a long, relieved sigh. “I don’t suppose he was working alone?”

“That’s one of the bad news. I’ll give you more details when you come, but short story, no.”

“I’m not surprised. He didn’t look like he had the brains for it. What’s the other bad news?”

Sonny bit his lips. “I was the one to cuff him last night, and, uh, he called you _my_ lawyer and he called me toyboy, so…” His voice trailed off.

“He knows about us,” Rafael finished for him. “Either he was observing my apartment when you came by on Tuesday morning, or he or his employers have been following me for longer than that.”

Sonny nodded, forgetting for a minute that Rafael couldn’t see him. “And I don’t think he’s likely to keep his mouth shut, and I’d really prefer it if he wasn’t the one to tell Liv.”

There was a moment of silence as Rafael processed it, and anxiety spiked in Sonny.

“We still haven’t talked.”

“On the phone isn’t as good as face to face, but…” Sonny immediately said.

“At least we won’t get distracted,” Rafael answered with a rueful chuckle.

There was another moment or two of silence. Sonny took a deep breath and said, “Do you remember what you asked me, the very first time?” Without waiting for an answer, he continued, “You wanted to know how well I’d listened to my priest’s lesson about promiscuity. I don’t remember exactly what I answered, but I know I lied. I only had two relationships before you, Rafael, and they were both serious. I lied because I’ve wanted you for as long as I’ve known you, and if a one-night stand was the only way I could have you, I’d take it. But I’ve always wanted more.” Sonny stared blindly out of the window, waiting for Rafael’s reaction.

There was a couple of false starts, then Rafael said, very quietly, “It wasn’t like that, for me.” In the background, Sonny heard the gurgle of the coffee machine. “I thought… I thought you were just an itch to be scratched, you know? But you’re… _you_ , and you burrowed your way under my skin. I don’t even remember when I started wanting more. I…” Suddenly, he laughed. “I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.”

“On Friday, why…?” Sonny couldn’t bring himself to finish.

Rafael groaned. “I’m sorry, Dominick. I— Heredio threatened me and all I could think was to protect you. Keep you from being a target.” He sighed. “I panicked.”

Sonny had already guessed that much, but it was nice to get confirmation. And an apology.

“If it’s any consolation,” Rafael continued, “that weekend when I thought I had driven you away? It was the worst time of my life.”

“It’s not any consolation at all, love. I could tell that you were forcing yourself through it. I just couldn’t tell why.” Sonny wished he had insisted to have that conversation in person, so that he could go and take Rafael in his arms as he wanted. “I forgive you.”

Rafael’s breath left him in a rush. “Thank God. Thank _you_. I hadn’t realized quite how much I needed to hear the words from you.” He paused. “So… what do we do, now? I— I don’t want to assume.”

“I have disclosure forms in my desk,” Sonny rushed to confess. “They’re mostly filled in, even.”

Rafael snorted. “You’re ahead of me, then. I downloaded them last night, but I haven’t even got round to printing them.” He paused, then, “We finish filling them when I arrive, we give them to Liv, then…”

“Then I’m taken off your case because of the clear conflict of interest.” Sonny was smiling widely, unable to repress his happiness. Rafael laughed in answer.

“I need to go,” Sonny told him. “Let me know when you arrive at the precinct.” Despite what he’d just said, he was content just to listen to Rafael breathe for a few more moments. “I love you,” he finally whispered.

“I’ll see you. I love you.” The call hung up immediately after Rafael’s answer, and Sonny shook his head at how uncomfortable about his feelings the man still was.

* * *

Sonny finished completing the forms, then hid them back in the drawer, waiting for Rafael to arrive. Heredio’s lawyer came to see him twice to urge him to release his client who was clearly not the man they were looking for. Privately Sonny thought Heredio’s employers must have got him on the cheap, because as a defense, after Heredio had admitted to the threats to Sonny, it was more than a bit weak.

Finally Rafael showed up in a grey polo shirt and black jacket that complimented the golden cast of his skin, looking casual and edible without a tie, his collar open, baring his throat. Sonny took a deep breath to steady himself and nodded at Fin to prepare the line-up.

“Hey, Counselor. Let’s do the identification first, okay? Heredio’s lawyer is a pain, and the sooner he acknowledges his client’s guilt, the better for all concerned.”

Rafael’s eyebrows rose up, but he followed Sonny willingly enough to the window, ignoring the nervous lawyer who came to stand besides him.

Once he’d identified Heredio and the lawyer had gone back to him, he turned to Sonny, who explained what they had so far.

“Based on what he did say, threat assessment’s going to keep the security detail on you 24/7,” he finished.

Rafael sighed. “Terrific.” He looked at Sonny. “At least you’ll be able to stay with me.” They left the corridor. “Still want to be an ADA?”

“I’ve been thinking about it.” He had. Becoming an ADA would solve a lot of problems regarding conflicts of interests.

“I heard there’s an opening in Brooklyn,” Rafael continued.

Sonny looked at Rafael reproachfully. Brooklyn was not that far, technically, though there was the bridge to cross, but still. And there was something else. “The thing is, Counselor, I took an oath to protect and serve. So I don’t want to leave. Not now, anyway. After what happened to Dodds, it just… doesn’t feel right.”

Rafael nodded. “I get it,” he said, and Sonny believed him.

Sonny took out the forms and handed them to Rafael. “Only your signature missing.”

Rafael sat down at the desk, borrowing a pen and scrawling his signature at the bottom of the pages with the ease of a man who signed dozens of times per day. His name was barely recognizable in the stylized loops.

While Sonny was watching him, Liv came up behind him and squeezed his shoulder. “Wanna take Heredio on with me?”

He turned his head to look at her. “Uh. Before we do that, can we see you? In private? It’s kinda important.”

Liv looked a little bit taken aback. “Of course.”

“This is for you,” Rafael said, handing her the forms and following them to her office. He closed the door behind them and stood at Sonny’s shoulder while she took on what exactly she was reading.

“You? You two? Seriously? No, sorry, that’s offensive, of course you’re not joking.” She looked at them and grinned. “Wow. Never in a million years.” She shook her head. “Congratulations to you both. I’m very happy for you.”

Sonny relaxed and he could feel Rafael do the same thing. They leaned into each other without thinking about it, and Liv’s grin widened.

“All right, I’ll file that with 1PP as soon as possible. I’ll also let Officer Murphy know.” She gave them a knowing look and Sonny felt himself redden. He didn’t dare look at Rafael. “And you’re off the case, Carisi. Go do paperwork or something. I’ll go with Fin to interrogate Heredio.”

Sonny groaned. “Paperwork, really?”

Liv patted his shoulder and stepped out, leaving them alone in her office.

Rafael put his hands in his pocket and tilted his head at Sonny. “Want to help me build the case against Munson?”

Taken aback, Sonny said, “What, still? He didn’t take a plea deal? He’s a cop killer, what is he expecting?”

“Oh, he wants a plea deal. But I don’t like what his lawyer is proposing.” Rafael’s smile was ferocious.

“Oh?”

“He’ll plead to aggravated manslaughter in the second if I forget all the sex crimes.”

Sonny stared. “Wow. How delusional is he? He can’t really think you’ll accept.”

“Oh, his lawyer has no illusions. But Munson? He really isn’t as smart as he thinks he is.” Rafael smiled at him, a little crookedly. “So? Playdate?”

Sonny laughed, staring at Rafael with what he was pretty sure was a goofy expression on his face. “Yeah, let’s.”


End file.
